Monday 1 July 2013

SCRAPBOOK

No one will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you're the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside

LOOK LESS TIRED: A MAKEUP TUTORIAL

As a new Mum, or even a not-so-new mum, looking tired is a common problem. Makeup isn't going to solve it, but I found that just putting aside 5 minutes (actually Lyra loves playing with the little boxes) to make an effort just helps you to feel a lot better! 

And if you're not a regular make-up wearer, then this video is helpful even if you just use it for special occasions. 

This tutorial is pretty much exactly what I do, when I actually wear makeup. She uses really great products too. As a new mum, it's worth investing in a few new things (assuming you already have the essentials of foundation, mascara, eyeshadow & lipstick). These are my picks: 

Concealer for under the eyes ~  Yves Saint Laurent's Touche Éclat:

Illuminator serum ~ Lancome's Éclat Miracle:

Blush ~ Mac's Powder Blush in Desert Rose:


A light eyeliner for the lower water-line ~ Dior's Crayon Khôl in white (although the girl in the video makes a point that a nude shade would be less harsh if you're not wearing much else on the eyes):


And here's a less-is-more makeup tutorial which will have you looking like you've had a full 8 hours sleep, even if you've been up all night with a baby!



Hope you like it!

Thursday 27 June 2013

EASY ROUTINE

There is this assumption that, as a new parent, you have to fall into one of two 'camps' - you're either a parent-led routine 'scheduler' (leaving baby cry/forcing a feeding schedule) or a baby-led routine 'hugger' (doing what baby wants). From my experience, you can be both. I still fed on demand and comforted her when she needed it - it was just a matter of trying to draw out a routine from it all.


Nap-time cuddled up in bed
Between the ages of 2 weeks to 4 months old, we had a fairly solid routine established for her (in terms of sleeping and eating). We weren't strict with her in the beginning - I never let her cry herself to sleep for the sake of the routine - we just let a pattern develop naturally, with the help of things like bath-time and the bed-time feed, and then stuck to it once it was established. 

As she got more settled in to the day-by-day rhythm, she seemed to become happier and comforted by it - it was something which helped to anchor her whilst everything was new and unfamiliar. I felt like it was a really good way to show her she could trust us and rely on us. 

Whilst at first I thought the main benefits were that it encouraged her to sleep through the night (which it seemed to do), I now think it was probably the psychological benefits of making her feel secure and safe which were greater.

It was also good for us, because we knew what was going on and we knew we'd have certain times of the day to ourselves. Having the regularity probably also helped our body clocks adjust to the night-time wakings too (although, I have to admit, I've still not got used to it). 

The only down-side that I encountered to having a routine was other people's opinions on it. I don't know why it bothers some people so much - I think it's because you're new-parent mind is somewhere else a lot of the time, and you're thinking of your baby and what's coming next...and perhaps it's also a control issue? ...I'm not sure! But anyway, we stuck to our guns and kept our routine - and we're glad we did!

My experience in establishing a routine:

  • Have a set bath time every evening. Having fun in the bath is a bit of exercise to tire them out before bed.
  • Follow that with a set time to give the last feed/s before bed 
  • Have some strategic playtimes (e.g. we would keep her awake late evening so that she was more tired for bed time)
  • Try to encourage them to see night-time sleep as different from day-time sleep. In the first 4 or 5 months, I never put Lyra to sleep in her cot unless it was night time. I always let her sleep in the living room during the day/on my chest/in the bed with me, where it was still light and slightly noisy from other people. That way, she got used to her night-time sleep as something different from just a nap. 
  • Use feeding/singing/soothing to establish sleeping routine. 
  • If they wake in the night, just take them up, feed them/sing to them. Don't turn the light on or talk/play because then they think its play time in the middle of the night.
  • After a week, you can kind of see a routine establishing, and just observe that and try to do the same things at the same times. 

More cuddles to help her sleep, this time from her Aunty

SCRAPBOOK


Wednesday 22 May 2013

BREASTFEEDING

Firstly, I just want to be brutally honest and say that in the first 2-3 weeks, breastfeeding is really hard. Just be prepared to persist – this is the key! My family friend Alexia told me to just persist whatever comes my way, and it was really great advice because I then knew that I had a few of weeks of breastfeeding bootcamp to get myself through– and I didn’t give up.


Picasso's beautiful painting 'Maternity'
Before I had Lyra, I was quite indifferent to people’s choice when it came to breastfeeding. I always thought it didn’t really matter. I just knew I would breastfeed, and didn’t consider the other option. We have so many different opinions thrown at us, its difficult to know what decision to make, and how beneficial breastfeeding really is in comparison to formula feeding. But I really believe that if you stick as close to nature as possible then you’ll be on the best track. 
Warrior Mother
Having done breastfeeding, I wouldn’t say I was a breastfeeding militant, but I’m definitely less indifferent. I would really recommend it – it’s honestly silly not to do it! There are so many benefits from so many different angles (practically, emotionally, health-wise). And each of these points alone is reason to do it.
  • It’s so convenient. You’ll understand this after a month (well, even after a couple of days) of washing, and then sterilising, bottles, and panicking when you forget a bottle on a trip out. How boring. What a hassle. So much easier to have a constant supply of sterile food literally on you all of the time.
  • It’s a detox. Breastfeeding for at least a year cuts breast cancer risk by a third. Research has shown that it also reduces the risk of ovarian and uterine cancers too.
  • It’s better than anything money can buy for your baby. Well, you can actually buy breast milk, but it’s almost worth its weight in gold. Forget the flash clothes and toys, you yourself will be producing one of the most sought after commodities – and for you, it will be free.
  • It can significantly reduce your risk of postpartum depression. In fact, the 'happy' hormones which flood your body whilst breastfeeding have so many emotional benefits for you and your baby. Get high on your own supply. 
  • It prevents your periods from returning, which saves much-needed iron in the body after birth, helping your recovery and preventing anaemia.
  • It burns calories, lots of calories. You lose a phenomenal amount of weight by doing practically nothing and eating like a horse. A non breastfeeding mother would have to cycle uphill for an hour a day, or swim at least 30 lengths - not quite what you fancy after giving birth. You can just lounge around and enjoy the time with your new baby.
  • Breast milk is full of antibodies which protect your baby against illnesses and boosts his/her immune system, which will last throughout childhood and later life. You don't find these at all in formula. If you get ill, your breast milk becomes full of the antibodies the baby needs to fight that same illness you have – its like the perfect medicine.
  • It protects your baby against allergies, something which lasts for their whole life.
  • It boosts your child’s intelligence. Breastfeeding is linked with higher IQ scores in children.
  • It protects your child from obesity in later life.
  • It lowers your baby’s risk of SIDS.
The bottom line is that I've discovered from experience that it would be almost criminal not to breastfeed when you have all of this available to you. Hmmm, maybe I have become a militant. 
Armed breastfeeding Sandinista Rebel 
Breastfeeding Problems: 
Painful nipples
As I mentioned, in the beginning it was pretty difficult. My problems were mainly due to it being painful. If you have problems in that department, try using a small amount of Lansinoh nipple cream (available in almost all pharmacies) and not wearing a bra as long as you can bear it. You can also try nipple shields (also widely available). The root cause of painful nipples though is when your baby isn't latched on properly. There are loads of support groups around who will help with this, even if you just visited once. If you don't have that luxury, try YouTube, there's loads of helpful, albeit slightly stuffy, videos on there. Like this one:


Increasing the milk supply
Your baby's early growth spurts will happen around weeks 2, 3 and 6. During these times, almost like clockwork, I suddenly felt like I was feeding around the clock and that she was super cranky and hungry. What's actually happening is that your baby feeds all the time in order to stimulate more breast milk to be produced. Here's my plan of action to get you through the growth spurts. 
  1. BE A COUCH POTATO. Get yourself a box set and tuck yourself away for a few days with lots of healthy food.
  2. DRINK LOTS OF FLUIDS. Drink lots of water. I found that drinking whole milk was good for me, but that might just be a personal thing. Fennel tea is also said to increase milk supply.
  3. DON'T FORGET TO EAT. You need a minimun of 1800 calories a day when you're breastfeeding.
  4. TIME IT. Feed every two hours, no more no less. This allows the nutrient rich milk to build back up before the next feed.
  5. FEED FEED FEED. Offer both breasts at each feed. Massage your breasts as you feed and keep your baby awake by tickling their toes. 
  6. KEEP BABY CLOSE. Allow the baby to suckle for as long as they want after feeding (or as long as you can bear it). This makes your body think there's not enough milk, and it will produce more milk for the next time. 
  7. PUMP. Using the breast pump for 5 minutes after your baby is finished has the same effect as suckling - it makes your body think that it needs to make more milk for a hungry baby. 
Happy Mum
I hope this is helpful to you. And if you're on the fence about breastfeeding then I hope this post has persuaded you to take the plunge! 

Supermodel Angel Miranda Kerr 

Friday 12 April 2013

PINEAPPLES AND RASPBERRY LEAVES


I’m no expert on getting labour started, although being 16 days overdue I had my fair share of experience. It seems to me that the baby will arrive when it wants to – I read that the baby itself ‘releases the hormone’ which gets birth going, so you have to trust nature and the baby’s decision about when in will come into this world.

After trying pretty much every old wives tale on the how-to-start-labour list, it was eventually eating an entire pineapple which coincided with my waters breaking (but that was probably just a coincidence).

I wanted to let it start naturally, which in my case would have been the safest way – induction drugs really aren’t nice, and carry risks themselves. I spoke to the doctors about it and (because everything seemed healthy) they were supportive in my decision to say no to induction and said that the system to induce labour after a certain time was based on statistics; in reality every woman can be different.  In fact, lots of more recent research being done shows that induction can itself cause problems:


The worst part about being overdue was coping with it mentally. It may seem like a little thing, but most are blissfully unaware of what its like to be overdue. Try leaving this site open on your laptop for people to see.

I tucked myself away and went on lots of walks with my boyfriend. I eventually stopped answering my phone too! I’ve heard of lots of women who start some sort of project to pass the time. In hindsight, I would say just try to enjoy the time and minimise stress. Eat healthy (try pineapples!), sleep lots and go for walks! A friend's dad told me "Oh, don't worry! She'll come out with a better finish this way."

Thursday 21 February 2013

THE HOSPITAL BAG

There are plenty of sites out there telling you what to take to hospital with you when you have a baby. For example this one, or this one. There’s even an NHS video:



So I'll save us both another exhaustive list and just focus on a few things I liked having in hospital.

As they mention in that video, its important to pack your bag a good 3 or 4 weeks before your due date, just in case, and write a list of extra things that you'll need to put in last minute.

Coconut Water
This helps to keep you hydrated during labour. I took a couple of cartons of coconut water with me to sip in between glasses of water. 
Thirst quenching coconut water
iPod Speakers
It was great to be able to listen to music during the birth - make a few playlists beforehand. Your labour room will be a little sanctuary in no time.
Conran Audio Speaker Dock

Organic Shampoo
I had a shower in my room and it was great to take a shower and wash my hair during labour. I found that this Jason shampoo was also great for the days following the birth as it is clean and sensitive. 
Pure and natural toiletries

Lip Balm
It's easy to get dehydrated during labour, so take a lip balm. This Lanolips balm is my newest beauty discovery. Made of 100% of Ultra Pure Medical Grade lanolin, its so natural that it can even be used on the mouths of new born babies!

A wonder product

Natural Deodorant
The aluminium in most deodorants is said to be bad for the baby when you're breastfeeding (this is disputed, but I didn't want to risk it). I use this amazing Lush T'eo natural deodorant powder. I've heard that the Burts Bees deodorant is also a good alternative.

Natural antibacterial deodorant
A Soft Towel
It was really nice to have a gigantic, fluffy towel with me when in hospital. You should take really soft one, because you'll be sore after the birth. I love the Cath Kidson bath sheets.

Hampton Rose bath sheet

A Button-Down Nightie
Take something cotton and comfortable with buttons down the front for breastfeeding. This John Lewis checked nightshirt would be perfect with a cosy bath robe on top.

A baggy nightshirt

Baby's First Outfit
You'll need to have a little outfit ready for the baby after they come out. I had a beautiful sleepsuit all covered with leaves. Pick something that's quite cosy, as they are often a bit cold after they're born. The Petit Bateau sleepsuits are lovely.

A Petit Bateau sleepsuit

A Blanket
The mother of Lyra's godmother bought her a beautiful satin edged cellular blanket from The White Company. If I'd have had it for when she was born, I'd have certainly taken it with me to wrap her up in.
Beautiful soft blankets

Muslins
As well as a blanket, it's a good idea to take some muslins with you. The absolute best ones in my eyes are the Aden + Anais ones. I use the giraffe print muslin blanket all the time. 
Fresh muslins

Nursing bras
I found that John Lewis has some really nice ones, like this Elle Macpherson Intimates bra. You'll need one of these following birth, as well as some breast pads. The milk which is first produced after the birth is the best thing you can give to your baby, better than anything money could buy!

Wednesday 20 February 2013

HAVING A BABY IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY


New territories
When I was 6 months pregnant I not only moved houses, I moved to a different country. It was all quite unexpected. Leaving my Shoreditch flat, I packed my bags (and many, many boxes) and flew north, to Norway…to the snow, and pine forests and the startlingly fresh air.

Not only was I waving goodbye to London and England, I was waving goodbye to the British medical system (to which I was so familiar, being a doctor’s daughter and a midwife’s daughter), and, for the time being, waving goodbye to my (beloved) English language.

It seemed as though I was facing what might be the most daunting experience of my life.

Obviously, this whole situation throws up a million ‘how does one cope with…?’ questions. But today, I’ll just be writing about my experience of, and the advice that came from, giving birth in a foreign country.

* * * 

‘Kontroll’ is the Norwegian word for ‘check-up’. It was one of the first words I learnt on my journey through the Norwegian health system. ‘Kontroll’, I thought, was a slightly unsettling word for someone in my situation.

Lost control, and lost-in-translation. That’s how it all seemed at the beginning, and those feelings were probably the most difficult thing about giving birth in a foreign place. It was good to have a Norwegian-English speaker (my bf) at the appointments with me, although the nurse spoke almost perfect English. 

I had been having check-ups in England and had already developed expectations from those. I didn't know if I'd have the same tests or check-ups, and I was worried that I would get to hospital and have something unfamiliar and unexpected thrust upon me. So I tried to ask as many questions as possible, even about the simplest things, just to get an idea of how things were done over here. Whilst there were differences, it actually turned out that there were many things I preferred in the Norwegian system. They were very keen on trying to encourage natural birth, and were on my side when it came to my wish not to be induced at day 11.

Whilst I needed to manage my homeland expectations, that’s not to say that they weren’t useful in some way. In the Norwegian health centre, they loaded me up with leaflets, all of them in Norwegian, and none of which I understood at the time. Luckily I also had a folder of all the stuff I was given in England. Getting hold of English resources (NHS guides, books, magazines) helps you to learn about what to expect. You could ask a friend back home to send you these things, or contact your old doctor directly.

As it got closer to due date, I was invited on a tour of the maternity wing at the hospital. This helped to familiarise me with everything there. The tour was in Norwegian, but I had my boyfriend/translator with me. Even though it was useful, I still had a few niggling doubts at the back of my mind. 

Forest for miles and miles (hospital view)
Afterwards, I went to the midwife office, and asked if I could meet up with the water-birth midwife (they have to be specifically trained so there were only 2 in the hospital) and I did so a few days later. I had written out a simple birth plan in English and Norwegian and I wanted to discuss if it was all ok with her. She was an older lady, experienced, and mostly spoke Norwegian. I seemed to understand what she was saying and I think it’s because we just clicked on an intuitive level. She offered that I pop back the next day and she do acupuncture – it was almost like being in a spa, and I’m pretty sure that you can’t get acupuncture so readily on the English NHS. So I was very open to trying new things! Fate would have it that she happened to be on duty when I turned up to have Lyra, and delivered her.  

When it came to the birth itself, I didn't even notice that the language being spoken around me was foreign. My birth plan had to go out of the window at one point, and when this happened I called my dad (who's a doctor and has worked as an obstetrician) in England and asked him if I should let them do it, and he just said to me 'you have to trust whatever they're telling you', and from then on I did. 

So, my advice for giving birth in a foreign country:
  1. Take a translator to your appointments (partner, friend, in-law)
  2. Ask questions to familiarise yourself with the new system
  3. Get hold of homeland resources (NHS guides, books, magazines)
  4. Go to visit the maternity wing if you plan to give birth in a hospital
  5. Organise to meet up and speak with a midwife a while before giving birth, and ask her all of the questions you have
  6. Write out your birth plan as simply as possible, in both languages, and discuss with a midwife
  7. Be open to new things, and make it a task to discover something new and better
  8. Trust the midwives who are with you during the birth
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